It is at the point of the semester where we are now getting used to our roommates habits and tendances. We don’t know whether to tell them to shut up or shut up ourselves to keep the comments in. If you are in a good place with your roommates, this is great and continue on whatever works for both of you. However, if you are not getting along with the, a major factor is communication. There a few different ways you can approach effective communication with them. To further explain each one, we have asked students on campus their experience of how important communication is between roommates.
It is important to tell your roommate your tendencies and habits preventing any confusion. If you prefer a cleaner room than them, tell them. If you would prefer they don’t play music late a night, let them know. If you don’t explain to them your wishes, how are they supposed to know what is bothering you. We wish they can read our minds but they can’t.
Hannah Mendygral, Senior Psychology major with Criminal Justice minor, states, “I’ve had really good experiences with roommates and I consider myself extremely lucky for that. As soon as my freshman year roommate and I met, we told each other that if either of us ever did anything that bothered the other, we would address it right away instead of letting the anger and irritation build up. We would never get mad at each other for expressing how we felt. My roommates after freshman year were also the same way and we are always very considerate of each other. We always listen to each other and are considerate of each other’s belongings.”
Nip It in the Bud
We should all strive to solve problems while they are small. Please don’t let it fester becoming a bigger thing. Again, the person may be unaware of what they are doing that makes you upset. Try to approach it in a friendly manner. Hopefully, it will end all similar situations.
Lauren Lincks, Sophomore ASL/English interpreting major and Linguistics minor explains, “Communication is definitely one of the most important things especially when living with someone. I’ve found when sharing a room and belongings if there’s something that you prefer a certain way it is best to express it to your roommate. In the end, you’ll both be more aware of how the other person feels about things and will hopefully try to compromise because of your conversations.”
You Might Not Be BEST Friends, and That’s Okay
At the start of the year, everyone wants to be friends. Yet, this is not realistic. It’s tough to stray away from that friendly zone and becoming serious with roommate issues. It can be awkward when you want to go out with your separate friends and your roommate joins in because you made it a too friendly environment. If you decide to be friendly but just roommates, that can be the best thing for you. This just means you both respect each others boundaries.
Hailey Sweeney,Junior ASL/ English interpreting major with a Deaf Education minor tells, “my roommate at first was great getting along very well. We would attend events together, talk for hours and got involved in different BU activities. My roommate then became very difficult to communicate with, taking petty shots when I would express my concerns. One of them started taking my things like my water bottles and food. At this point, there were a lot of miscommunication and too much harm to fix. It was unfortunate.”
Keeping an Open Mind
Although, you may have your point of view in mind, you must think of the other person. You never know what is actually going on in a person’s life. Your roommate may also be a part of a different culture where they do things differently. Be open.
John Thomas, Senior Criminal Justice with major Legal Studies minor states, “Listening is just as important as communicating. So hear your roommate’s side of the story. Try to walk into every situation with an open mind ready to step back and look at it from both points of view.”
Treat Your Roommate How You Want to Be Treated
Lastly, we must remember that they are people too. Although your roommate has made you upset, we must act in a way we would appreciate others to talk to us. If there is something bothering us, approach it in a way you would want them to approach a situation.
Brie Tulskie, Senior Accounting major and Legal Studies minor exclaims, “For one thing I know, if something’s bothering you, the other person isn’t going to know unless you tell them. Therefore, it’s important to communicate about issues because it just makes for a more comfortable living environment. I feel like I’ve never really had difficulties with my roommates with that because we’ve always been friends and it was easy to talk to them. Even freshman year when I had a random roommate we were both good at communicating with each other and we never had any issues. A delicate and friendly approach will always help the situation.”
If you are at the point where communication is not cutting it and you have tried all ways to get to them, asked your CA what’s the approach. Ask them if they have any better suggestions in mind. You always have alternative ways. There are also numerous other resources here on campus you can take advantage of.