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The Horny Husky: Good plan, bad execution


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     Valentine’s Day was yesterday, and I hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Whether you celebrated it with a significant other, friends, or treated yourself, it’s safe to say you did something for Valentine’s Day. In a relationship, we want to make sure we plan something fun and sexy for the night. Some things that come to mind are bringing whipped cream or chocolate into the bedroom, having shower sex, trying out some new positions, and trying out sexy flavors of lube. All of these ideas sound spicy and fun, but it seems that when we actually go forward with the idea and try it out, it always turns out awful. Typically, the night goes as follows.

     When you think of Valentine’s Day, you think of delicious chocolate covered everything. You figure, bringing whipped cream or chocolate into the bedroom is a great idea. You probably had a nice night out to a fancy restaurant, and both of you are ready to bring things into the bedroom. You have all of the food placed onto the bed with mood setting music on. You start feeding each other while taking off your clothes. Your partner puts the chocolate or whipped cream on you, and that’s when you realize you are super sticky. However, your partner can’t hear you telling them that you are sticky because the music is too loud. Not only this, but now your sheets are dirty.

     No fear, you can fix the night by moving this hot and steamy session into the shower. You both are sticky and cleaning each other up seems fun. Once both of you are cleaning and you have your bodies pressed up against each other, your partner grabs you and you start to have sex. However, it’s not as easy as you thought it was going to be. First, you try doggie style. This seems good for a while, until you see how much water is going everywhere and you can’t grab on to anything to help the thrusts. Well, then your partner picks you up while they are standing and now you are having stand up sex. You see from the start that this is not a good idea because they are not only slipping around everywhere, but you also are not having fun. Therefore, you figure shower sex is finished and maybe you can save the night by moving this fun time to the couch.

     Once, you get to the couch, you remember you said you’d like to try out anal sex for the first time, since it is a special night. So, you go get the flavored lube you bought and place it on them. That’s when you taste that nasty flavored lube and almost puke. Trying to forget about it, you tell your partner you’re ready and they slip it in. They are very gentle, and it doesn’t seem too bad until they start going harder and you realize that this hurts! You try your best to enjoy it, but it hurts so bad that you feel that you might be pooping yourself. Your partner understands and you both laugh it off. You guys end the night with cuddling in bed instead.

      Now, you are laying there, realizing that you should’ve just planned dinner with normal sex right after. But everything is okay because trying out new things is fun and helps you figure out what you like and what you don’t. I hope you guys had a great Valentine’s Day and didn’t hurt yourselves too bad.

 

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The Horny Husky: Good plan, bad execution