The Horny Husky: Making (food) babies this Thanksgiving


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     Thinking about how much I will be eating this Thanksgiving dinner, is already making me full. The turkey, the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, and the dessert are all sounding so good right now. But something to think about after you have eaten until you’ve developed a food baby, is whether or not you want to have sex on a full stomach.

     If you have ever had sex on a full stomach, you can understand that it is not the most pleasant thing in the world. Your stomach is making all these slushing noises from the food and your stomach is going through all this pressure and discomfort. You ask yourself, ‘why would I ever want to put myself through this?’. Well, Thanksgiving brings up a special occasion where you come back home from school and figure, ‘while I’m home, maybe I can have one bang for the night’.

     If you do choose to go along and have sex, there are some interesting facts about having sex on a full stomach. Apparently, females, when full, are more responsive during sex. I’m not entirely sure if this is true, but I’ll make it my business to remember next time I’m having sex full. On the other hand, for males on a full stomach, this can actually increase your chances of having erectile disfunction. I guess the guys body is too stressed out about all this food he just ate and is thinking about how gassy he probably will be for the rest of the night.

     I recommend, if you do see yourself being horny after dinner, lay down with your partner in a comfortable position that will not disturb either of your stomachs. This is a plus, because you have an excuse to have lazy sex that won’t disrupt anyone in the house. To keep it safe, maybe think about having your sex session in the basement just to be sure no one can hear.

     Another tip, is to think about having sex before dessert. We have all experienced that awkward 10- 15 minutes where you’re just waiting for dessert to be ready and everyone is having meaningless conversations. That is the perfect time to get a quickie in and then you won’t be affected later on when the “itis” hits you.  

     If you already know that you will be having a hot night after dinner, there are some specific foods you can indulge in to increase your sex drive and not make yourself feel disgusting afterwards. Spinach is a prime example of a sex drive inducing food. If you see it this Thanksgiving dinner, go for it. Spinach is rich in magnesium which increases blood flow in the nether regions and will make sex more pleasurable and longer lasting. It’s like a natural Viagra.

      My favorite Thanksgiving dessert is banana cream pie and coincidentally, bananas are another type of food that is sure to lift your sex drives. Bananas are high in potassium and are a critical nutrient for muscle contraction. We all know that the worst thing to happen during sex is having a cramp, and then ruining the mood. Bananas also naturally contain bromelain, which helps produce testosterone. This benefits not only men but for woman as well.

 

     Woman with higher testosterone also have higher sex drives than those who have lower levels.

      I hope your Thanksgiving break will be full of warmth, family fun and lots of eating. Just remember that if you do plan to have sex after eating, please avoid the crazy positions that may have your partner feeling like they want to throw up mid-thrust. Also remember that there are natural Viagra’s out there so don’t go wasting your money. Ultimately, be safe and enjoy your break!