Well, to put it bluntly; nothing, as long as you’re safe. Let’s be honest, the allure of the taboo, less vanilla forms of sexual intimacy attract many, and that’s normal. With pop culture cementing kink and fetish life into the mainstream, curiosities are piqued. I encourage this sort of exploration, it can be a thrilling departure from stock standard, but I must emphasize what 50 Shades doesn’t: Be safe. Kink life and standard sexual relationships have very different rules, but the broad strokes apply. Here are the more vital safety tips I’ve come up with for amateurs and the experienced alike.

1. Establish trust – Kink isn’t something you do with a one-night stand or situationship. It is absolutely imperative the partner you are operating with is someone you trust deeply with your whole body and in extreme cases – your life.
2. Safe word – The first thing you want to do with a partner is to establish a safe word. A safe word is one of the most, if not the most, important steps in a festive nightlife. Safe words serve one function; Pull the plug, no hesitation. You and your partner can establish the tried and true red-yellow-green system or pick a word that is distinct and unmistakable. Regardless, if a partner continues after the safe word is spoken, it is sexual assault.
3. Setting boundaries – When it comes to boundaries, that is a personal (and quite exciting) journey! It takes a very long time to concretely discern what you do or don’t like. There are plenty of online quizzes and experimental ways to sort out your trash from treasure. Have an open mind with things – you won’t love everything, you won’t hate everything, and that’s perfectly expected. Give yourself room to grow and patience experiment.
4. Research – People assume they know how to do things by just looking at it. That is how things get grim and messy quickly. Establish what sort of practice you and your partner are attempting that session, and research it. There are entire workshops (Philly has many!) dedicated to the basic steps of rope work, pain management, and other BDSM adjacent things. Remember: somewhere between 200-1,000 people die each year from autoerotic asphyxiation. Don’t be part of that statistic and do some decent research.
5. Aftercare – The most neglected part of a healthy sex life for many, kinksters or not. Aftercare is taking care of each other after sex; cleaning up, asking each other what went well and what didn’t, and responding to each other’s needs. Never be afraid to admit when something wasn’t up your alley or uncomfortable for you; communication is the universal cornerstone of any relationship. As a personal note, I highly recommend everyone involved in any kind of active sex life should hydrate. Sex is a form of exercise, so bring your partner a bottle of water or two while you unwind.

Those are my surface-level tips. They work for all forms of intimacy regardless, but are especially inseparable from kink culture. However you choose to explore yourself and your body, remember to be safe and smart.