No matter the year of schooling, it is hard to get a “no” or rejection from anything you put yourself out there for, but it is bound to happen.

     Whether you are a freshman trying out for your first on-campus job, a sophomore/junior applying for an internship, or a senior applying for graduate school or a job, it is quite the high stress time.

     If a no comes to your email, it is not the end of the world. There are stages of grief, as famously coined by psychiatrist Kübler-Ross, and here are some ways to move on from that rejection.

Denial

     The first reaction is denial. In this stage, individuals believe the result is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality. This stage isn’t one commonly thought of, as it can be very short. It is okay to be here.

Anger

     When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. This is when the most unconstructive manners happen in the head: “why was I not good enough?” or “what did I do wrong?” There is no reason to be disrespectful to yourself, because you are worth it. Think about isolating the situation and look for positive outlooks as compared to completely becoming violent.

Bargaining

     The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. One thing here would be thinking: “what can I do to get the job?” or “maybe if I send an email thanking them, they will reconsider.” While these are both great points, and it would definitely be a great way to continue your networking opportunities, it is important to let go. They made their choices, so now is your time to get through it.

Depression

     During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time sulking or mourning. It is okay to cry, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You put a lot of work into your application, you did your best for the interview, and you did everything you could. You can’t control what others say and what they think, but you can do that for yourself. This may take time, but take all the time you need to fully make the most out of acceptance.

Acceptance

     In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future. You will go on. You will prosper. No matter what outcome happens, you will continue on. This is a great way to start practicing reflection, where you are able to productively look back on what worked or didn’t work. Face it, you are bound to apply for something in the future. You’ll get a job, internship, or into graduate school, and reflecting will help you get there. Take the situation as a learning moment and make the most of it—with a drive towards success, you’ll be successful. A wise person once told me “it’s a bad moment, not a bad life.” Pick your head up, and go take on the world.