Only 90’s kids will remember this!!!: A look back on the golden years of our childhoods: Rugrats, Gushers, and so much more

Brian Abbate, A&E Editor

     How many times have you read a BuzzFeed article or Facebook post with a title similar to this? It’s annoying, but can certainly get your nostalgia juices flowing.

     Sure, the ‘90s were totally radical and even occasionally tubular, but were they really THAT great? Like, so great to the point that the hipster kid in your friend group needs to make a pop culture reference from the ‘90s every few minutes or else he’ll have an existential crisis? Possibly.

     Let’s first take a few moments to remember all the wonderful things from the ‘90s that epitomized the decade, in no particular order.

     Furbies. The creepy, furry robots with those big ole bug eyes. Why we loved them, we’ll never know, but we sure as hell adored those critters.
Tamagotchis, or as I like to call them, the Pokemon-babysitter-pocket-watch-thing. This was the first real responsibility a lot of us had other than neglecting to feed the family pet on any given day. Plus, it was the fun of having a pet without the mess of a real animal.
‘90s Nicktoons like Hey Arnold, Rugrats, Rocket Power. Enough said. Moving on.

     DunkARoos, Wonderballs, Danimals Sprinkl’ins (whadjyaget, whadjyaget, whadjyaget?), why don’t they make stereotypical ‘90s snacks anymore with even more stereotypical, obnoxious ‘90s commercials to go along with them? Sure, we still have Fruit by the Foot, Gushers, Lunchables and Warheads, but is it the same, I ask you? No, it isn’t. Snacks from 20 years ago were infinitely better than what we have today.

     HitClips. Hey kids, do you like a particular song but only want to hear 30 seconds of it? Then HitClips are for you!

     Arcades. A low-lit room with tons of greasy joysticks just waiting to be fondled. Got beef to settle? Then pump some quarters into that Mortal Kombat cabinet like real men (or women). Now all you need to do is play Skee-Ball for six consecutive hours to earn enough tickets for the teddy bear from Dollar Tree.

     Disney Channel Original Movies or DCOMS as the cool kids call ‘em. Granted, there was absolutely a period in the early to mid-2000s where DCOMs could do no wrong. I am fully acknowledging that. However, the ones that are produced and shown on Disney today, you know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that have the nerve to still refer to themselves as DCOMs, but are less enjoyable than waiting in line at the post office, yeah, those ones. They’re hot garbage. I’m sorry, Disney, but Teen Beach and whatever other coming of age, oh I have so much angst and need to dance it off movies of today should never be spoken in the same sentences as the ones from 1998-1999, aka the DCOM golden years: Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, Smart House, Johnny Tsunami, Halloweentown, Brink and The Thirteenth Year.

     That is obviously a very small sample size of what made the ‘90s so ‘90s-esque (along with fashion, music and tons of other variables), but we can all agree that those of us who experienced it absolutely loved every second of it. But when I hear people say things like, “Ugh! I wish we were still living in the ‘90s!” I wonder if they really mean that.

     The 90’s were amazing, or at least we remember them as being amazing, because it was our childhood. It was the time when we didn’t have jobs or student loans and could eat whatever we wanted with zero obligations. Obviously, nostalgia can cloud our judgement, but let’s assume the ‘90s really were as amazing as we remember. Would we really go back in time?

      There have been way too many practical technological advancements to justify leaving the present. iPods, smart phones, 4k TVs, modern video games and things like Snapchat, Tinder, GPS and Twitter. How would we possibly live without these luxuries that we know as commonplace? It would certainly suck, that’s for sure.

     Lost in the middle of nowhere on your way to a party? Sorry, Waze doesn’t exist and you have no cell service, so good luck becoming a part of the Human Centipede at the first door you knock on. Need to pretend to be busy in a social situation to avoid an awkward conversation with a classmate or coworker? Too bad, because you can’t whip out Angry Birds or your Kindle, so have fun talking about last night’s episode of Boy Meets World. Who am I kidding, that would be perfect.

     The past is awesome, but the present is even better. PLUS, with things like YouTube, we can satisfy our nostalgic cravings anytime we want to watch a commercial for Nickelodeon Magazine or a New Kids On The Block music video.

Brian Abbate is a senior majoring in English and minoring in professional writing and digital rhetoric. He is the A&E Editor for The Voice