Despite the fact that hookup culture has become so prevalent in today’s world, especially for college students, long-term relationships are still just as common, even if the way dating looks has changed in the last fifty years. Many college students today are surprised when some of their classmates are either dating, engaged to, or married to their high school sweethearts. As one such student, who has been with my significant other for nearly six years, I can say that I have heard many concerns from classmates who found their dating niche in the hookup culture. One of the biggest issues people would bring up, even when I was in high school, was about keeping the relationship interesting if I was with the same person day after day, year after year, for the rest of my life. How could sex stay interesting? How could I stand being around the exact same person who has the same stories to tell? How do their quirks not annoy me?
The answer is simple: because I want to, and they want to. Being in love doesn’t mean that your long-term relationship won’t have stagnant moments. It means that you want to find ways to get out of those moments and move into something fun. So, for those students who might be a little apprehensive about a long-term relationship for any of the above reasons, or if yours is in a slump, then this Horny Husky is here to give you a few tips to reconnect with the adventure that is a long-term relationship.
1. Sex is never boring
Okay, so realistically, people enjoy sex, and it’s one of the biggest reasons couples who’ve been together so long feel like their relationship is waning. Even young couples can experience a slump like this. Between work, school, social lives and just generally trying to adult, sex can fall by the wayside or become routine. There are ways around this though. Suggest a new position to your partner and then follow through on it, or try an old position in a new place. Even just a change of scenery can make a huge difference. To go along with that, try scheduling sex with your partner. Literally mark it on your calendars. This will ensure that both of you make time for each other, and by scheduling, you can find a frequency that works for both of you. A key point to always keep in mind is that libido changes for a variety of reasons, and that every person is different. If you feel like your love life is waxing and waning, talk to your partner about it and work out a solution together.
2. Intimate does not just mean sex
Well, now that you schedule sex once a week or once every two weeks, you realize that you want something in between. But, whether it’s because you both work early or you don’t have enough energy, intimacy isn’t a regular part of your life. That is, if you’re pigeonholing yourselves into intimacy equaling sex or sexual activity. It’s more than that, and you should treat it that way. Instead of letting sex be your intimacy, try giving each other massages at the end of a particularly stressful day, and don’t go for more than that. Or maybe just cuddle up with each other and watch some TV or a movie before bed to relax. And the easiest thing to do? Kiss and hug, of course. Kissing and hugging the person you love will help keep you both feeling connected and you can feel intimate without getting frisky.
3. Keep it simple
A lot of young couples today think that to have a long-term relationship be successful, you have to be super interesting and do a lot of exciting, crazy new things together, or else you’ll feel bored with each other. That isn’t the case. If you live together or if you spend a lot of time at each other’s houses, try cooking together. My partner and I find that cooking breakfast is a great way to bond and enjoy each other’s company first thing in the morning, but you can cook at whatever time works for you both. You could also try going for a walk with each other. It’s a great way to get some exercise and just enjoy each other’s company. Or, you could give each other’s hobbies a try, like playing video games or writing a short story. It can let you try something new and explore a different side of your partner.
4. Get out
No, not out of the relationship, unless that’s what’s best for both of you. I mean get out of the house and go do something in your free time, whether separate or together, that has nothing to do with school or work. For example, try to do a date night once a month where you go out and check out a new movie or enjoy a restaurant you haven’t eaten at yet. Or, if you don’t want to go out together, then get some friends together for a night out, or even just head somewhere on your own. Nothing’s better than enjoying a good book in the corner of your favorite bookstore or browsing your favorite shop on your own. You can both have time to destress in your own ways so that when you come back together, you’ll be perfectly relaxed and ready to spend your time together.
Long-term relationships don’t fall apart because of time. They fall apart because time isn’t invested in the good ones. Just like anything you love, a relationship that you’re in for a long time can start to feel routine or mundane. If you find yourself stuck in a rut, just check out these helpful tips and others like them in order to dig your relationship back out. Remember: if you’re reading this advice, you care more than you might think.