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The Voice

Asking for Consent is the Sexiest Thing You Can Do

Huskies in Heat Logo. Created by Carly Busfield.

Consent during any intimate encounter–not just sex–fosters a healthy and respectful relationship between two partners, especially for those on a college campus where ‘hookup culture’ and intimacy within a relationship is common.

Communicating well with your partner(s) and constructing a foundation of trust, clarity, and openness creates an environment in which someone can be empowered to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ if need be. It instills a sense to feel capable making choices about their own bodies without feeling pressured or too shy to speak up about their own bodies.

Without consent, things could lead to misunderstandings, intense trauma, emotional distress, and could possibly create a rift in your and/or your partner’s relationship.

With a new semester just beginning with new students and freshmen coming into college for the first time, it’s important to implement consent as a non-negotiable step before engaging in any intimate activity.

A few examples of asking for consent and checking in that won’t bring you out of the mood:

  • “Can I kiss you?” [Implement a traffic light system: Green is Good/Yes, Yellow is check-in/slow down, and Red is full and complete stop with hands off.]
  • “Is it alright if I ____ ?”
  • “Does this feel good for you? Do you want me to keep going?”
  • “Would you like to_____?” “Still feeling good?”
  • “I know we’re about to start ______ but if at any time you want to stop, just let me know, okay?”

None of these would be seen as a mood killer, as this would open the communication, establish trust, and reassure your partner that their response matters and will let them know that they have the control to deny consent if they need to and even withdraw consent if things are going too fast or don’t feel right.

In order to cultivate a healthy, happy, empowered, and safe college experience– utilize consent and communication in your daily activities with a committed partner, potential partner, or even friends. However, as always, if you do need to report anything or need to seek out resources- call campus police, call the health center, or connect with a counselor on campus.

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About the Contributor
Kenna DeValor, Multimedia Journalist

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