No labels, no expectations… no idea where you stand. Situationships are redefining modern romance, but is this trend liberating or just frustrating? Relationships today have become increasingly complicated, often defined by varying levels of emotional dependence. This strain on relationships has had a multitude of effects on our generation, leading to the question, are situationships confusing or are they becoming the new normal?
Situationships, romantic or sexual relationships without clear labels, have been around for a very long time and are now dominating high schools and colleges. Before, couples would utilize the term by saying “it’s complicated.” This was a mainstream way to describe your relationship. In the popular 2000s television show “Sex and The City,” sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw describes her friend Charlotte’s relationship with Harry as a “sort-of relationship,” taking place in season 5, episode 8.
The terms “experimental” and “open-ended” have also been attached to this strain of relationship to attempt to describe what it is, as well as “casual.” More recently rising pop star Chappell Roan’s hit song “Casual” goes into detail describing the gutting and complex feelings a casual relationship can cause. The song shows how one party sees it as more than that, and the other sees it as nothing more than hooking up.
Freshman Jonathan Doegherty at Commonwealth University describes situationship in his own words as “anything more than ‘friends’ but not as committed as ‘partners.’” He then goes on to state “I have been in two situationships. Both have gone less than ideal due to someone catching feelings/wanting more…I think it’s incredibly unhealthy. Since human intuition is to seek connection in hopes of reproduction, trying to teeter on the line of ‘getting off without getting together’ is a dangerous balancing act.”
As human beings, we yearn for human connection due to the need to reproduce, it’s basic psychology. But in situationships, people often settle for less than they truly want—either due to personal fears, external circumstances, or the sheer convenience of keeping things undefined. The problem? Someone almost always ends up wanting more. Psychologically, situationships thrive in the gray area between emotional connection and avoidance, often appealing to those with avoidant or anxious attachment styles. People with avoidant tendencies may prefer the lack of commitment, enjoying intimacy without feeling trapped. Meanwhile, those with anxious attachment styles might settle for a situation, hoping it will evolve into something more.
Situationships have been linked to hookup culture, yet they aren’t quite the same. In his experience, Doegherty does on to explain the difference, “In terms of our generation, I think situationships create a dangerous view on long term connection. I don’t think it’s wrong to ‘hook up’ with anyone and everyone, if anything, I think it’s great. But it is an exploration of the body, where situationships almost seem like an exploration of the mind.”
Relationships, in any form, are messy. But situationships add an extra layer of complexity that can be both exhilarating and exhausting. If you and your partner are genuinely content with keeping things undefined, then go for it! If not, then maybe it’s time to realize it might just be too confusing, and that stress is not needed, especially for college students.