I got engaged in college. As if being a college student balancing two degrees isn’t hard enough, I’ve been planning a wedding for over a year. While this isn’t the traditional route for most students, the choice to be engaged in college was not made out of naivety or childish rebellion. Engaged students exist at Bloomsburg, and it’s time we recognize that.

When a professor asks me what my immediate plans are after graduation, I answer them honestly. “I’m getting married in January.” There’s almost always an awkward pause, a catch of their breath as they stare at me- trying to determine how serious I’m being. While no one has outright said anything negative about my choice, the deer-in-headlights look I get does most of the talking.

In today’s day and age, college students aren’t viewed as being the marriageable age. The average age for a man entering their first marriage was 30.2 and woman 28.6, according to a study done by USAFacts in 2024. College is an institution largely comprised of individuals ranging from 18-22 years in age, significantly lower than the average marrying ages. But lower doesn’t mean non-existent. I personally know 6 couples who have gotten engaged while at Bloomsburg, two of whom got married while still in undergrad. While it may not be the norm, engagements among college students are still happening.

Ring-by-spring is a term used to describe Christian universities where students typically get engaged before graduating. My fiancé went to a ring-by-spring school in the south. He could name way more couples who got engaged (and married) in college across his four years there than I ever could at Bloomsburg. Those universities usually also have marriage housing, on-campus housing specifically for married couples. These institutional supports arguably make being married in college easier and more socially acceptable. Bloomsburg doesn’t have anything like that. Instead, we have a hookup culture that’s often revenged-blasted on YikYak and the use of online dating sites. While I have no issues with the concept of meeting someone online (my parents met online in the 90s), the culture at Bloomsburg gives way to casual situationships- something I never had any interest in. 

I’m a relationship girl through and through. I like the thought of long-term commitment and shared bank accounts, and I was never willing to compromise on anything less. When my fiancé and I first got together, we were intentional about dating to marry. For us, this meant that we went into the relationship checking out to see if the other one would be a good potential spouse. If at any point we realized that wasn’t the case, we’d end the relationship. For us, getting engaged while I am still in college made sense. We both wanted to get married and didn’t plan on living with each other prior to that. By the time I graduate, we will have been together 2.5 years. We didn’t feel like we needed to wait an additional year after that to get married.

So, do I recommend that every couple get engaged in college? Absolutely not. Let me explain.

Engagement brings with it a whole new slew of stressors to a relationship. Planning a wedding and a marriage are potentially stressful endeavors that require emotional maturity. There’s also a very real reality that both college and getting married are expensive. Finances are the source of conflict in 40% of long-term relationships, according to a 2022 study published by Sage Journals. Both my fiancé and I have no debt, nor will I be graduating with any. Not having debt hanging over our heads has put us in a great financial spot. 

Being engaged young was a choice that made sense for my fiancé and me. Not everyone has to do the same or even agree with our choices. But people need to recognize that it’s a reality some students choose for themselves.